Just show up, and bring friends

Patrick and Thomas,

This book argues that Grit, "a combination of passion and perseverance for a singularly important goal—is the hallmark of high achievers in every domain." It's garnered a lot of attention, and is worth a read. I think the core of it is just a restatement of the old adage that most of success is just showing up. I'm sure a greek or roman high achiever said this long ago, but some recent versions of it are:

Half the battle is just showing up.—Stephen Hawking

There's a phrase, "sitzfleisch", which means just plain sitting on your ass and getting it done. Just showing up for work. My uncle Raphael was a painter, and he used to say, "If the muse is late for work, start without her". You have to be there. You have to be there, and do it, and grind it out, even when it is grinding and you know you're probably going to rewrite all this tomorrow.—Peter S. Beagle

Success is an accident. Showing up, even if it’s just for 5 minutes, makes us accident-prone.—Paul Budnitz

You are at the point in your lives when the future can look daunting. You need to decide not only what you want to do to make a living, but also how to make it happen. That first decision is huge, and deserves its own letter, so for now let's just assume that you are following your heart, and know what you would like to do, if only you can find a way to do it. That's where just showing up is the answer.

Find a way to do what you want to do, or something as close to it as possible. Get an internship. Offer to do it for free. Get your foot in the door. Don't expect magic to happen, and be prepared for rejection and criticism. But keep showing up, learning, doing the work, and meeting people. Give the accident of success the opportunity and the time to happen. When you get discouraged, take the evening off, watch your favorite movie in which the hero overcomes great adversity on the road to fame and happiness, and get up in the morning and show up.

Let's go back to the "meeting people" part. Both of you are interested in artistic fields in which you can work in isolation. Avoid that trap. Finding a group of like-minded people who you can learn from and explore with, and who can support you when you start to waver, is the best way I know to make sure you keep showing up. Friends rely on each other when they get a new opportunity and need help to make it happen. When the front door to advancement seems closed, friends can open up the window for you. And best of all, friends make the journey fun, even when you are lost and unsure when you will reach your destination.

Showing up has definitely worked for me in my career. Much more importantly, as your dad, my best memories of your childhood are from when I showed up to enjoy the moments I would otherwise have missed: the basketball or soccer practices, the bedtime stories, the classroom career days, the morning drives to school. I'll always be thankful that I showed up, and had the privilege of getting to know you a bit better.

So just show up, and bring friends. I hope that, on some of your journeys, I can be one of those friends.

Love,

Dad